It was kinda selfish for me to think that you’ll always be here…that i forgot that you’ve changed too.

I’m sorry for the stupid things I said and did. I’m sorry i didnt appreciate you as I should have. I’m sorry brother.

My heart is breaking.
Right now, it feels like I have lost you forever.

Dear you,
It kinda breaks my fvckin heart that we’ve grown apart. I miss every bit of you. Your weirdness, your annoying comments & your advices. I miss how you always treat me after school, even tho you dont have to. I miss how you always wait for me. I miss how you know that i felt alone and you’re always there to accompany me. I miss how we spent hours talking on the phone. I miss how you would call first. I miss the long bus rides home. I miss you.

I miss having a brother by my side. I miss my brother who got extremely mad at me for dating guys he doesn’t approve of (and he’s usually right). I miss my brother who’s annoying but also responsible. I miss how he thinks. I miss how he’s so mature. Even though it annoys me before, I realize now..that he never left me during my problems. He was always there.
He dedicated a song to me once. Its from an anime Naruto. It was during grade 7 when i have to leave Qatar. No matter how silly it sounds… I play that song from time to time… And i sometimes cry… I sometimes smile… Because that’s what he gave me. He gave me home. He will always be my brother, maybe not by blood, but by heart. Always. Even if he forgets.
Always.

You realize how much you truly miss someone when something happens - good or bad - and the only person you want to tell is the only person who isn’t there.

Just realized that you have no fucking place in my life right now. Actually, I realized it a long time ago… I just couldn’t let you go at that time. So yeah fuck you once again.

Oh how you build me up and rip me apart. Fuckyou.

I have closed another chapter in my life, finally. And I feel okey. I feel okey. I hope you will too.

You don’t have the right to text me, call me, or facebook me. You have no rights at all. Why? Because you screwed up. You lied to me. At first I was cool with it, with you and I just being friends. But fuck of course, fuck. Fuck it because I just realized we are not even friends since the beginning. Because friends are suppose to be there for each other in bad, serious times… And you weren’t. You don’t even bother asking. You didn’t try hard enough, like I did for you. Friends are suppose to share thoughts and talk about shits that makes sense, not about some goddamn things like what did I freakin eat for dinner. So fuck it. Fuck everything we talked about and laugh about. Fuck it because you were just using me. Fuck it. And now I’m all over you, you just randomly thought to go knocking on my door and remind me one more time of how much I fucking hate you. Every single time my phone beeps and I see your name, it reminds of how stupid it was. How pathetic you are and how stupid I was for letting you use me. The truth is, I can never replace her so stop making me think that I can. Fuck it. Fuck it.

I don’t exactly know why I’m still talking to you. But it’s because I’m probably drunk or stupid crazy. You’re not worth my time right now. Not now. You had your chance. And thank goodness you blew it because I will be forever stuck in your universe. So thank goodness. I don’t need it. Not now.

I don’t want to see you. I don’t want to hear from you. I don’t like it when you liked or comment on my post. I don’t want you to call. I don’t want to want you because I can never have you. I can never have you…

The one that got away

Everyday with you is a roller coaster ride. I fell for you, but I could not care to admit it. I was not ready, and I pushed you away. And now my heart almost shattered when you said you are moving away. I was so stupid, so slow. You were so warm, so close. You made me feel like a best version of myself. You made me smile. You told me not to care because you said I’m beautiful just the way I’am. You made me feel crazy and happy at the same time. Why did I let you go? How could I let you go? I miss you every now & then.